Loving the Right Way

Have you ever watched one of those very romantic movies and thought,” Gosh!! I want a guy to say that to me...” or “That just completely melts my heart..”. I felt that way when I watched one of Tyler Perry’s movies: The Diary of a Mad Black Woman!! I remember when the guy told the lady that He loved her and the lady asked him how he knew this, the guy explained that He just felt it in his heart and that how when she smiled, his whole world was alright!! My heart must have skipped a beat!! I THOUGHT:  wOw!! TO BE LOVED LIKE THAT!!

Or, have you ever seen how people walk hand in hand, as if its only them two in the world.... I always think they are so happy and in love.

 Aaand, have you ever noticed how small a baby looks in the arms of a parent, and the way the parent just looks at it, like its the most precious person...The baby must feel so safe, so loved.  

 

But you flip over the coin and in a day all this can change. Out of the same mouth that said I love you, come out words that threaten to break you. That hand that held you is raised up to slap you. The child you have raised, no longer talks to you. The love of man is so fleeting. At times, it’s like it was never even there. It has been compared to dew, quickly evaporating with heat, quickly turning into hatred. Truth be told, though often used, not many people know what love is. For most, it’s an emotional phantom that appears and then vanishes without warning. Illusive. Indefinable.  People associate it with a mushy feeling, a warmth, with gestures and words and while all these might accompany it, the answer lies in God, for God is love.

You just have to go through the scriptures to see it. His whole nature is love! For instance the fact that He gave all He had for you and for me. JESUS DIED FOR YOU!! We have heard it said so many times that the automatic response sometimes is just, “yeah I know, yeah He did”...but when you think of it, I mean reaaally think of it, who would without a doubt die in your place, take on the lethal injection, sit on an electric chair for you when you both know he did not deserve it. Who would do it so freely for you just because he wants you to have an easy life? This guy never sinned. He never ever did anything wrong. But he could see you, he could see you suffering if he didn’t do it, he could see you crying, in pain, in poverty and he decided to do it. To lay his life down for you. In the world we live in, some people cannot even allow their friend to use their things, not even a plate, and far be it from me to mention money!! What Jesus did is absolutely personal. Keep in mind that Jesus is not the Father, He is the son: your brother, your friend!! So do not think of a parent dying for you but rather your brother, sister, friend and a loving parent allowing that...And therefore I ask again: Who would do it for you??

  

After I munched on it, I thoroughly agreed with Him when He said, ‘there is no greater love than this that a man should lay down his life for his friends’ (John 15:13). It is however the part of us being commanded to love as He has loved us that made wanna scream, ‘ARE YOU SERIOUS??!!! How can I lay my life down everyday ???’  But yeah..its in there and do not fear or worry. We can all do it through Christ who infuses inner strength into us (Philippians 4:13). What is obvious from all this however is that it is impossible to love the right way if you do not know how much God has loved you. At best it will be human love, here today, but gone tomorrow. Make it your purpose therefore to eagerly pursue and seek to acquire this love( I Cor. 14.1), to research it and to train yourself in the way of it..This is not the love that is fleeting, it is divine, the God Kind.

It is loving another with a love that endures long and is patient and kind. I know probably a lot of you can wait patiently in line for something like to take money out of your account, to buy food and the like..well, good for you. But patience and being able to put up with someone while being kind about it, is different.  Some people endure long but they are not patient and kind while enduring. They will endure long, put up with things they don’t like, just because they have to, but they let everyone else know they are enduring too. They will let them know they are not happy or that they are suffering either by silent treatments, negativity or whatever method works best. But just think of how endless God’s patience has stretched out to you. He waited you out till you too began to love Him too, always being kind while doing it. Letting the sun, shine on you and the rain to fall. This is how we too are to love. To be spat in the face but to continue being a kind friend.

Love is never envious or boils up with jealousy: How many of you are genuinely happy when your brother, friend or lover does well?  When he or she gets that job you wanted, that grade you worked hard for? We forget in the face of other peoples success that as Christians we are not competing one against the other. In this race of life we are on, there is room for everyone to be a winner. The fact that another won at something does not mean you lost. But jealousy can also arise out of trust issues. I hear you say,’ I just can't trust my man. He is slippery!’ There is a fear that if you give out your trust, someone will take advantage of it. But remember always that you are not alone. Your big brother has your back. He is your shield. Just follow His word and trust Him to protect you when doing His word. You will not be put to shame or be disappointed ( Romans 10:11).

This reminds me: there was a time in my life when I actually thought love did not exist. I just could not see it in people. And this made me afraid to love others. I did not want to be in any vulnerable state. But God quickly corrected my thinking on that one..hahahah…I remember my friend Lois, telling me that I must believe in love because I believe in God…!! I couldn’t argue with that one and then after, I heard Joyce Meyer through her sermons say,” some of you are so afraid to love. You have seen it not work out for so many people. But why would you be afraid when you have the Spirit of God in you. He will heal all your hurt and enable you to love.” So love anyway. Do not yield to feelings that contradict or hinder it.  Be fully aware that there is a reservoir of love in you, you won’t run out. You will always pull more from within. You will pull it past any pain because you have a healer in you.

Love is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly: A lot of people do not like pride and arrogance but it is amazing how many people actually are that. Still, be careful to not judge others by your standard. Just because you think they are proud does not make them proud. I bet people thought Jesus was proud: What with all His talk about being anointed, being the truth and all that. I bet people said, ‘who does he think he is?’ But anyway, just don’t be inflated with pride, whatever that might mean in your life. God paid the same price for each one of us Christians, young or mature and for the unbeliever too. I am always amazed by God. How He is so much more than us but how He never rubs it in our face. Instead, He came and lived like man and now as the Spirit in us, to elevate us to His life. So, forgive my bluntness, but get over yourself…and be polite all the time too. It speaks volumes about character. Rudeness or unbecoming behaviour may put people off Christianity, so instead, be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone( Colossians 4: 5-6). Never be too proud to say sorry.

Love (God's love in us), does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking: For some people, it’s my way of doing things or nothing at all. More especially for women, if we go by what men say. I have heard men complain so much about how bossy we can be.  But this verse is not gender specific and men can be selfish too. This verse for me, is just Jesus. The way He lived his life for the Father’s will because He loved Him. It did not matter that it would hurt greatly. Yet as humans we can not even sacrifice the littlest things for others if it’s to our detriment. Just think about this…I am so challenged.

There is still more....It is not touchy or fretful or resentful:  sometimes as ladies we can be so fretful. We wanna make sure our man is shaped completely into what we have always wanted. He has to dress right and if he dares not, it’s an issue. He has to talk and look right. To say the least, it is unfair. This hyper-sensitivity will arise mostly because we can place so high expectations on him. But never forget that at his best a man is not God. He is not what will satisfy the emptiness in you, no matter how great he is. At one time or the other, he will not be there for you or even if he is, not in the way you want him to be. Do not do this to your man, instead, find fulfilment with God. You’ll appreciate all earthly relationships more.

Love takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]: In simpler terms, it does not keep grudges. ‘WHAATT?!!! How can I get over a best friend’s betrayal, a parent’s abandonment or some such thing?' You can and you must because it is for our own good to let it go. Kenneth hagin has said, "Unforgiveness and wrong feelings toward others are more deadly than any poison or rattlesnake bite" All the effect it has on you is bad. Let it go. It is not worth it.

It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]: This is a great one!! Is it not strange how people like to believe the worst of others? But love is constantly, seeing the best in others without wavering. "Complete Madness"!! Any person will say that?So remember whose standard you function on. It is to realise that there is more to a person than the hate they show now, the indifference, and discrimination. This is how God sees us. He looks at us and sees the perfection we are. The way He refers to us is telling. We have been called a pearl, great treasure, a new creation, righteous, glory, His masterpiece....therefore, see the beauty in others and work to bring it out. Other people are not our enemies, the devil is.

The thing is however, if we love the right way we will look silly. I have been privileged to know people who continuously forgive others even while they hurt. Sometimes I wonder how they can keep on doing it. At one time I even thought it was weakness and the world will tell you it is, but the end of the chapter I have been referring to 1 Corinthians 13( amplified), proved me wrong. Love never fails. If you keep at it you will lead a victorious life, a winning life. And I know it is easier doing this to people who love you back, I know, but we cant be choosy about it, remember. Love those who make it hard too. It not our love anyway. Its God’s love at work in us, love that has been shed abroad in our hearts through the Holyspirit ( Romans 5:5). It’s all there, you just have to work at it.

And my prayer for you is that you mature in love  and as Paul prayed ‘ that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God's holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ's love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God.’(Ephesians 3:17-19)

 Remember this chapter of love. Memorise it because then when you want to love the wrong way, you will be reminded of the right way. The way that ABSOLUTEY MELTS ANYONES HEART!! Happy valentine’s  day ladies!!