The Lady and Her Lord

Finding the right entry for this week was not easy. There is so much that I wanna share with you. So much that just has to do with being a woman, falling in love, relationships and all that but the Lord keeps telling me ‘Not yet, not yet!!’

We can’t progress until it is absolutely clear that all of these good things we want and struggle to find, will only appear and flourish when we are deeply rooted in God and His word. We need to therefore, be able to set our priorities right. It is a vital requirement in this world where there is so much to do. The good thing is, we have help because the expert Himself, God, has given us guidance: To seek first the kingdom and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto us. I can talk of all that, insecurities, fashion, etc but if God is not paramount in our lives, this might as well be a self help blog. However, God wants us to know that, He can take us above that. Above running around, searching for answers in the wrong places, above tips on high self esteem, how to mend a broken heart and what love/happiness really is....to a level where we just know who we are and where our help comes from.  

As ladies we are living in times that are full of many distractions to our Christian walk. The people we listen to who talk about how to live our lives are themselves not experts in living, for if they were, would their lives not show it?  Other people we esteem as beautiful have had parts of themselves changed because they did not think it was right, the way it was. It seems tips on life and relationships can be found everywhere but the question you should ask is whether they are the right answers. Do not get too drowned in other suggestions that the word of God is nothing but an echo at the back of your mind. God would love that you become so full of His word, that you will be able to spot so many lies that may be right in your face...

There are so many things wrong in this world but that does not undermine what is right. A lot of women have grown up without a father to look up to. You don’t know what it is to just be held in the arms of a dad who tells you that he loves you more than anything. You have strived all your life to impress him but, you have never heard, not once, him say he is proud of you. You know only that he loves you because he makes sure you’re fed and go to school. Others have grown up without a mother. Someone to nurture them through the different phases of life. And for some, even having one made no difference:  she has not been what a mother should be. Consequently, many women  have gone through life, fumbling around, trying to learn, hurting so much and wishing for this thing called love yet returning worse off than before. They might have trusted a man, who ended up breaking them, rejecting this priceless lady made for God.

As a result of this, a lot of us fail to relate with God on a level of a parent/lover. We do not really get it when He says He loves us and actually even likes us and wants to teach and advice us. Because if we really did grasp this, that He is everything He says He is, it would be so easy to totally depend on Him. Instead we consider Him distant, or like big brother just waiting for us to mess up. But our wrong impressions of Him do not undermine the truth. The truth is that there is no relationship a lady can experience that is more fulfilling than a relationship with God. It is a relationship of knowing you are held in everlasting arms that bring about healing from damages that you incurred in your pursuit of every other relationship. He is the place where restoration is found. You can relax in God and just be a little girl, who in His presence, climbs into the lap of a loving father whose sound wisdom, counsel and consistent love will shield you from anything. You are shielded in Him, protected always.

TD Jakes has said, God, is the missing ingredient that adds validity to any other pursuit in life. If you gain everything and fail to know Him, you have nothing at all. His love for you is so pure that you will find none other like it. It is not dependent on your performance, appearance or intellectual capacity. He has loved you before you were formed in the womb of your mother. And it is when you know this love, that you are not desperate for any other kind of love because your satisfaction becomes so complete that it removes you far away from the DESPERATE need for affection and affirmation that may lead you to grope and grasp blindly for anything that will do. It is highly necessary to know, to believe, to trust that God is absolutely reliable. Test Him and see for yourself. He is the right thing that can never go wrong. The truth that will never change. You can run to him in every crisis and know that He will not fail you, He will not desert you, and He will not leave you. He is the only one to whom you can lay your heart bare, tell all your insecurities to and expect not to be called insecure but to be affirmed and upgraded to confidence.

I am not telling you something that won’t work in your life. I am evidence that it works and I know a lot more ladies who this has worked for. Putting God first in your life and not just saying it, is not the easiest thing you can do. It might mean forgoing things you like, even love but it is so soooo much worth it. We all know that eating healthy will at times mean not having that extra muffin or chocolate, but when you see the extra pounds drop off, how happy are you? And the best thing is, it gets easier with time. The principle is the same. Applying yourself to the word of God might be hard at first, even boring but if you keep doing it, it will be profitable not only in this life but in that to come and in time, if you keep at it, It will be easier, much more fun and soon you’ll won’t be able to do without your daily fix!!

Let’s rise up to it, Ladies. We can do this!!!

Identity Crisis....

As surely as a person lives, they will at one time wonder about their purpose in life, who they really are and what their life means? And because many never find out, they start to identify themselves with things or people…

 Some people find meaning in what they have and what they look like. So they go about acquiring all they can and going to great measures just to look right. Money drives them and they make sure they get more or at least die trying.

Other people will identify themselves with their career. You ask them who they are and they reply, ‘my name is Mary and I am the executive director of a company.’ They spend all their life striving to be the best in school or at work. So many hours they spend in work, at the cost of even their family. The problem however is, we are human beings not human doings and when you have finally run the organisation you want to run, you will still retire and then what next?

And yet for some women, it is men in whom they find meaning. There always has to be a man around them to tell them they are beautiful otherwise they will not believe it for themselves. They need constant affirmation of how great a person they are and how good they look. Still, others pride themselves in being the strong ones. They like it when everyone else is dependent on them. It makes them feel useful, wanted.

But you get all this out of the picture and who are you really?  All these things do not really define a person. Behind the entire make up and good clothes, who is that lady that lives there? Who is she that is so strong and confident to everyone but herself?  Who is that lady no man seems to be satisfying? Does she ever even really come out? If we do not acknowledge God in our lives, we will find that beneath it all, at best we are developed animals and at worst rearranged space matter as science has put it. Max Lucado has said that in scheme of nature we, as homo-sapiens, are not unique at all. Our bodies came from dust like animals and we have blood just like them. What makes us special is not our body but the signature of God on our lives. I call you special, unique, beautiful, not because of what you do or how you look like but because of whose you are. If we take God out of the equation there is no meaning to you and surely we shall find emptiness beneath it all, unhappiness and self hate.

God makes the difference. Before the foundations of this earth were set, He knew you, and your aim. The story of your life is already set, complete with a wonderful ending if you choose to live by it. And He made you unique, His grand design, the cherry on the top. Do not look at yourself and just think you are just a statistic in this world, look to God, to His word and let it tell you the real truth about yourself. You can be your own worst enemy sometimes. But God will tell you an entirely different story. Just read the Bible and be aware of your heritage. Learn of your true identity and inheritance and I promise you, you will watch your whole world transform into something great!! There is something God placed in you that is unique. The whole world is waiting for you to start living up to it. If you rely on your boss to tell you everything, your spouse or boyfriend, parent, you will wait a long time because they do not know it all. But look to God, make Him priority and embrace His directions. Do not be afraid to trust God. You cant go wrong with Him. NEVER!!

Remain true always…..

Loving the Right Way

Have you ever watched one of those very romantic movies and thought,” Gosh!! I want a guy to say that to me...” or “That just completely melts my heart..”. I felt that way when I watched one of Tyler Perry’s movies: The Diary of a Mad Black Woman!! I remember when the guy told the lady that He loved her and the lady asked him how he knew this, the guy explained that He just felt it in his heart and that how when she smiled, his whole world was alright!! My heart must have skipped a beat!! I THOUGHT:  wOw!! TO BE LOVED LIKE THAT!!

Or, have you ever seen how people walk hand in hand, as if its only them two in the world.... I always think they are so happy and in love.

 Aaand, have you ever noticed how small a baby looks in the arms of a parent, and the way the parent just looks at it, like its the most precious person...The baby must feel so safe, so loved.  

 

But you flip over the coin and in a day all this can change. Out of the same mouth that said I love you, come out words that threaten to break you. That hand that held you is raised up to slap you. The child you have raised, no longer talks to you. The love of man is so fleeting. At times, it’s like it was never even there. It has been compared to dew, quickly evaporating with heat, quickly turning into hatred. Truth be told, though often used, not many people know what love is. For most, it’s an emotional phantom that appears and then vanishes without warning. Illusive. Indefinable.  People associate it with a mushy feeling, a warmth, with gestures and words and while all these might accompany it, the answer lies in God, for God is love.

You just have to go through the scriptures to see it. His whole nature is love! For instance the fact that He gave all He had for you and for me. JESUS DIED FOR YOU!! We have heard it said so many times that the automatic response sometimes is just, “yeah I know, yeah He did”...but when you think of it, I mean reaaally think of it, who would without a doubt die in your place, take on the lethal injection, sit on an electric chair for you when you both know he did not deserve it. Who would do it so freely for you just because he wants you to have an easy life? This guy never sinned. He never ever did anything wrong. But he could see you, he could see you suffering if he didn’t do it, he could see you crying, in pain, in poverty and he decided to do it. To lay his life down for you. In the world we live in, some people cannot even allow their friend to use their things, not even a plate, and far be it from me to mention money!! What Jesus did is absolutely personal. Keep in mind that Jesus is not the Father, He is the son: your brother, your friend!! So do not think of a parent dying for you but rather your brother, sister, friend and a loving parent allowing that...And therefore I ask again: Who would do it for you??

  

After I munched on it, I thoroughly agreed with Him when He said, ‘there is no greater love than this that a man should lay down his life for his friends’ (John 15:13). It is however the part of us being commanded to love as He has loved us that made wanna scream, ‘ARE YOU SERIOUS??!!! How can I lay my life down everyday ???’  But yeah..its in there and do not fear or worry. We can all do it through Christ who infuses inner strength into us (Philippians 4:13). What is obvious from all this however is that it is impossible to love the right way if you do not know how much God has loved you. At best it will be human love, here today, but gone tomorrow. Make it your purpose therefore to eagerly pursue and seek to acquire this love( I Cor. 14.1), to research it and to train yourself in the way of it..This is not the love that is fleeting, it is divine, the God Kind.

It is loving another with a love that endures long and is patient and kind. I know probably a lot of you can wait patiently in line for something like to take money out of your account, to buy food and the like..well, good for you. But patience and being able to put up with someone while being kind about it, is different.  Some people endure long but they are not patient and kind while enduring. They will endure long, put up with things they don’t like, just because they have to, but they let everyone else know they are enduring too. They will let them know they are not happy or that they are suffering either by silent treatments, negativity or whatever method works best. But just think of how endless God’s patience has stretched out to you. He waited you out till you too began to love Him too, always being kind while doing it. Letting the sun, shine on you and the rain to fall. This is how we too are to love. To be spat in the face but to continue being a kind friend.

Love is never envious or boils up with jealousy: How many of you are genuinely happy when your brother, friend or lover does well?  When he or she gets that job you wanted, that grade you worked hard for? We forget in the face of other peoples success that as Christians we are not competing one against the other. In this race of life we are on, there is room for everyone to be a winner. The fact that another won at something does not mean you lost. But jealousy can also arise out of trust issues. I hear you say,’ I just can't trust my man. He is slippery!’ There is a fear that if you give out your trust, someone will take advantage of it. But remember always that you are not alone. Your big brother has your back. He is your shield. Just follow His word and trust Him to protect you when doing His word. You will not be put to shame or be disappointed ( Romans 10:11).

This reminds me: there was a time in my life when I actually thought love did not exist. I just could not see it in people. And this made me afraid to love others. I did not want to be in any vulnerable state. But God quickly corrected my thinking on that one..hahahah…I remember my friend Lois, telling me that I must believe in love because I believe in God…!! I couldn’t argue with that one and then after, I heard Joyce Meyer through her sermons say,” some of you are so afraid to love. You have seen it not work out for so many people. But why would you be afraid when you have the Spirit of God in you. He will heal all your hurt and enable you to love.” So love anyway. Do not yield to feelings that contradict or hinder it.  Be fully aware that there is a reservoir of love in you, you won’t run out. You will always pull more from within. You will pull it past any pain because you have a healer in you.

Love is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly: A lot of people do not like pride and arrogance but it is amazing how many people actually are that. Still, be careful to not judge others by your standard. Just because you think they are proud does not make them proud. I bet people thought Jesus was proud: What with all His talk about being anointed, being the truth and all that. I bet people said, ‘who does he think he is?’ But anyway, just don’t be inflated with pride, whatever that might mean in your life. God paid the same price for each one of us Christians, young or mature and for the unbeliever too. I am always amazed by God. How He is so much more than us but how He never rubs it in our face. Instead, He came and lived like man and now as the Spirit in us, to elevate us to His life. So, forgive my bluntness, but get over yourself…and be polite all the time too. It speaks volumes about character. Rudeness or unbecoming behaviour may put people off Christianity, so instead, be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone( Colossians 4: 5-6). Never be too proud to say sorry.

Love (God's love in us), does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking: For some people, it’s my way of doing things or nothing at all. More especially for women, if we go by what men say. I have heard men complain so much about how bossy we can be.  But this verse is not gender specific and men can be selfish too. This verse for me, is just Jesus. The way He lived his life for the Father’s will because He loved Him. It did not matter that it would hurt greatly. Yet as humans we can not even sacrifice the littlest things for others if it’s to our detriment. Just think about this…I am so challenged.

There is still more....It is not touchy or fretful or resentful:  sometimes as ladies we can be so fretful. We wanna make sure our man is shaped completely into what we have always wanted. He has to dress right and if he dares not, it’s an issue. He has to talk and look right. To say the least, it is unfair. This hyper-sensitivity will arise mostly because we can place so high expectations on him. But never forget that at his best a man is not God. He is not what will satisfy the emptiness in you, no matter how great he is. At one time or the other, he will not be there for you or even if he is, not in the way you want him to be. Do not do this to your man, instead, find fulfilment with God. You’ll appreciate all earthly relationships more.

Love takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]: In simpler terms, it does not keep grudges. ‘WHAATT?!!! How can I get over a best friend’s betrayal, a parent’s abandonment or some such thing?' You can and you must because it is for our own good to let it go. Kenneth hagin has said, "Unforgiveness and wrong feelings toward others are more deadly than any poison or rattlesnake bite" All the effect it has on you is bad. Let it go. It is not worth it.

It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]: This is a great one!! Is it not strange how people like to believe the worst of others? But love is constantly, seeing the best in others without wavering. "Complete Madness"!! Any person will say that?So remember whose standard you function on. It is to realise that there is more to a person than the hate they show now, the indifference, and discrimination. This is how God sees us. He looks at us and sees the perfection we are. The way He refers to us is telling. We have been called a pearl, great treasure, a new creation, righteous, glory, His masterpiece....therefore, see the beauty in others and work to bring it out. Other people are not our enemies, the devil is.

The thing is however, if we love the right way we will look silly. I have been privileged to know people who continuously forgive others even while they hurt. Sometimes I wonder how they can keep on doing it. At one time I even thought it was weakness and the world will tell you it is, but the end of the chapter I have been referring to 1 Corinthians 13( amplified), proved me wrong. Love never fails. If you keep at it you will lead a victorious life, a winning life. And I know it is easier doing this to people who love you back, I know, but we cant be choosy about it, remember. Love those who make it hard too. It not our love anyway. Its God’s love at work in us, love that has been shed abroad in our hearts through the Holyspirit ( Romans 5:5). It’s all there, you just have to work at it.

And my prayer for you is that you mature in love  and as Paul prayed ‘ that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God's holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ's love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God.’(Ephesians 3:17-19)

 Remember this chapter of love. Memorise it because then when you want to love the wrong way, you will be reminded of the right way. The way that ABSOLUTEY MELTS ANYONES HEART!! Happy valentine’s  day ladies!!

Eternal Companionship

I like the fact that God not only created man but that He wanted to be in a relationship with Him. He did not want man being alone, fending for himself or lacking things. When He created him, He fellowshipped enough with Him, to know that it was not good for Adam to be alone, to know exactly what suited Adam, to know what food would be pleasing to His eye and so much more. He made sure Adam had all things and ultimately, a relationship with Him. Even when Adam sinned, does it not speak of how loving God is that He, the one who had been wronged, came down to fetch for them? And to make them their first clothes that would actually last (Genesis 2)? Yet they did not even think of saying sorry. I do believe they had time for this; to explain. Instead, all they did was give excuses. Even with Cain in chapter 4, God asked,” Where is your bother?”  and he lied right there and said he did not know. But still I see it again and again, God coming down and initiating a relationship.

It was later on that man began to respond again. To call on Him (Gen. 4 and 5).  Enoch for instance, walked with God, was in a habitual fellowship with Him (Genesis 5:24- amp).  Then he was no more because God took Him home. Just like that!! How close were they for that to happen? They must have been so close, always together that it was of no difference that Enoch should just go home and be with God ALL THE TIME.

And it continues, Abraham was another of God’s friend. Their conversations are just amazing. These two really talked to one another and sometimes, I believe, even without words. God said to him Abraham, this is what I want to do for you. I want to make you great, so great everyone will know you; I want to give you many sons that no-one can count them. If people bless you, I will also bless them. Note that it is God who wanted it for Him, not that Abraham wanted it for himself- There is no record of that. On Abraham’s part, I really just believe this guy was so CRAZY in love with God. His first instinct was not to say, ‘how will you do that? When God? Or why?’ When God said leave this land and go to the land I will show you, He just up and did it.  I am amazed at the level of trust He had in God for him to just do that ( Gen. 12). I can go on… there was David, the man after God’s heart ( Acts 13:22). Ah!! Isn’t it great to be acknowledged as thus? Are you panting after God’s own heart? For His will?

And yet all these people who interacted so closely with God and had such great encounters with Him, did not have what we have today. God to them was in heaven and would come down. Then later He came as His word personified, restricted by the body to live in man, He could not be at all places at one time because His body was just like ours (John 1:14). Even when Lazarus got ill and died, Jesus could not be there for him, to heal him, His own very close friend (John 11). People often say that they wish they lived in this era, to have touched Jesus, to have seen Him, but truth be known, the people in this era still did not have what we have now. The era we live in has been talked about for generations, by prophets such as Joel. The saints wanted this era. The era when God sent down His Spirit to live with man, to live in man. Not restricted by human body. A time when He can be everywhere on earth with man. As I write, He is in me and as you read, He may be speaking to you wherever you are.

What we have now surpasses everything past. Even Jesus said this when He said, ‘it is for your own good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the counsellor will not come to you. But if I go, I will send Him to you’ (John 16:7). I am writing all this so that you are conscious that if you received Him, even though you might not always feel Him, He is in you. When you become conscious of a thing, things change . For instance, when I wear high heels, the way I walk changes. There is just something about knowing am a few inches off the ground. I KNOW this and I just can’t walk the same way as I do with flats. It works in all ways. Train yourself to be conscious of Him. It will change the way you live your life. You will know that you represent royalty, that you are royalty. You are not just talking on your behalf but on His. Imagine how this would change the things you say? Your whole life will be transformed.

You also have to train yourself to yield to Him. God will not take away your choices. You can choose not to listen to Him. He does know it all, but He will not force feed you. You can continue living your life as if He were not there. But this is sad. It is really really sad because its sighing away from the fellowship of the Holyspirit: The closest friend you could ever have. The greatest teacher there is, your lover, your comforter. Even if He would not enable you to do anything, having such a companion to go through life with is a spectacular experience. People are searching for such to no avail. With him, you have a relationship that surpasses any you will ever have. He will remind you all that Jesus is and did for you (John 14:25-26). He reveals to you, your identity. I remember, the other week, I was feeling very unloved and unappreciated and I asked Him to please remind me of how much He loves me. I have found that His love makes man’s love pale in comparison..hahaha… Anyway, He did. That day, everyone just bombarded me with kindness and as I sat reading His word, and writing out my thoughts, I was reminded of His great love: it was as if He hugged me real tight and said, I love you..it was overwhelming.

You have to take advantage of this relationship. God has restored what man lost at the beginning. He is fellowshipping with us FOR ALWAYS. Do not let this to pass you by. When I say He will speak, to you, know that He speaks PRIMARILY through the word, the Bible. Remember, He has inspired the writing of the word. Who would have brought to the disciples’ remembrance what Jesus had taught them so that it be recorded? Who would have taught Paul all that he wrote (And it is clear this guy had great insight). Sometimes, even just reading the book of Psalms makes me realise that only He would have enabled David to see creation the way he did, the Psalms are so graphic. You can just see the verses. The way the psalmist in Psalms 42:1 says His soul longs for God, as a deer pants for water. You  can see that deer so thirsty, its heart almost jumping out of its chest as it sees the water near, Its heart beating loud and so fast… so fast it is uncomfortable; Its mouth open, tongue out, trying to cool the hurting throat but alas! No success. Nothing will help but the water. NOTHING!! It will do anything for it, to taste. And then you see David in the field trying to describe how he felt, how badly he wanted God. To the point of need, of craving; At that moment he would do anything to have God! It is just amazing. This was not ignorance writing. It was wisdom. It can’t be anything else.  The word is all God breathed and He will use it  for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training you in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16). He longs to reveal the things hidden in it and you have no greater teacher that He who inspired it.

But not only this, He will reveal to you the personal word of God which is Jesus. Jesus did not say all He could say back then because the people would not bear it. But He said that when the Holyspirit came, more would be said from Him and the Father (John 16: 12-15). He has answers to all things and He can enlighten you.

Greater still is the fact that He can help you pray. I don’t know if am the only one who at times feels like does not know how to pray or what to pray for. Actually, I can’t be the only one because His word says,  ‘So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance. And He Who searches the hearts of men knows what is in the mind of the [Holy] Spirit [what His intent is], because the Spirit intercedes and pleads [before God] in behalf of the saints according to and in harmony with God's will.’( Romans 8:26-27).

There have been moments in my life when I have just sat in the presence of God and said, ‘Lord I want to pray but I do not know what to say, all I have are wants and I don’t want to just want something from you.’ I am encouraged that when I get to those limits, there is someone to help me pray: About things I never intended to pray for. Because as I said, the world is bigger than you. Even in your prayer life, the Spirit wants to use that for the Church. He can put words in your mouth. Oh but that you let Him do it in you.

Ask for Him. Thirst for Him. God will never leave a heart desiring after Him empty. The Bible says in Luke11: 9-13 that the Father in heaven will give the Holyspirit to those who ask for Him. He will make God a reality in your life, not some abstract in Heaven looking down on you. But it will also mean you are no longer living how you want for you are His temple (Corinthians 6:19). It can be hard at times, but you will do it because He is there in you. Do not only engage with Him when it is convenient with you. I urge you to please, please, hand over control in your life. You may not be in control but you will be happier for it.

Also soak yourselves in the word (this cant be over-emphasised) and soon your minds too will be saturated with His words. When you start to worry, you will hear Him say, ‘hey don’t worry, I have you.’ When you feel unloved, He will embrace you. Soon enough, you will even be incapable of feeling this way. Yes!! It can happen. You will just know, beyond a doubt that you are loved. When He speaks, your first instinct will not be to ask how or why but to rise up and start acting just as Abraham. People can say it is impossible but there are no impossibilities. What do us people know anyway, compared to God? People will think backsliding is normal, part of life, but the Bible says He can keep you from falling (Jude 24). Your life in Christ does not have to fluctuate. Just dare to believe. Jesus died in order for you to have this. Do not refuse the life He died to give you. Accept it and yield. Just yield.

Have a great week as you continue to unravel your identity in Christ.